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All the Fucks Starter Kit

$15.00
SKU:
atf-20131128-01
Weight:
4.00 Ounces
Rating:
Shipping:
Calculated at checkout

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Product Description

Now includes the fabulous new GAY FUCK. Because sometimes you just have to give a gay fuck, especially when looking for a pizza joint to cater your wedding in Indiana!

 

What you get:

    1 polished metal card holder.
    2 glossy FUCK's to give cards.
    2 glossy HOLY FUCK's to give cards.
    2 glossy CLUSTER FUCK's to give cards.
    2 glossy GOAT FUCK's to give cards.
    2 glossy GAY FUCK's to give cards.

 

----

Are you out of fucks to give? Do people keep taking all of your fucks, so you don't have any left when something important comes up? Now you can order your very own shiny steel case labeled FUCKS TO GIVE so you can keep all your fucks close to your genitals (that's where your pants pockets usually are, right?).

This quality silver colored case is made on precision machines in China. It's probably operated by eight-year-old children who should be in school but are instead chained to the filthy greasy machinery, working for a rice ball a day like any other skilled laborer. Or possibly the machinery is run by pandas. We don't know because we haven't bothered to fly to China and inspect the plant. BUT THE IMPORTANT THING IS, this case holds at least 10 fucks! It's also very SHINY, which only matters if you are a Firefly fan, or trying to blind someone with the reflection. Hell, you can even put your makeup on with it. This case has a beautiful glossy finish on the metal that is also fabulous for collecting fingerprints.

Mostly yours. So don't drop it at a crime scene. We're not responsible for any convictions you may get if you do something that marvelously stupid.

When you're out of fucks to give, open the case! We use unpatented technology that TELLS YOU that you're ALL OUT OF FUCKS TO GIVE. This reliable, idiot-proof, time-tested technology is installed by a drunken, bitter housewife (unless we're out of booze, then I have to do it sober) so that you always know when you're out of fucks to give.

…Yes, this technology is a fucking sticker. ASK ME IF I GIVE A FUCK!

The best part of this technology is that when your friends accuse you of having a fuck to give, you can prove that you actually don't! And then get new friends. Because seriously? If a friend of yours calls you a liar about that, you might want to trade in that friend for something more useful. Like a tube of epoxy, because you know you never have have that shit when you need it. It's one thing if your boss says you're lying, because we all know you lied about stealing those pens. And that you definitely lied about having "the flu" over Mardi Gras. But your friends aren't supposed to question that shit because THEY SHOULD KNOW. THEY ARE OUT OF FUCKS TO GIVE, TOO!



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Product Reviews

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  1. Before you came along I just didn't give a flying fuck 5 Star Review

    Posted by on 10th May 2015

    My life was pitiful. For many years, I just didn't give a flying fuck. As a mother and a nurse, I was inundated with cluster-fucks, but never seemed to have enough flying fucks to give. Most of the time, I did not give a fuck because I just couldn't spare the time between saving lives and cleaning up bodily fluids. But thankfully, you changed all that!

    I keep them in my pocket for when an arrogant, self-absorbed, entitled doctor or teenager involves me in their drama or attempts to blame me for everything that is wrong with their life. Now, I can stop what I am doing just long enough find a fuck to give.

    Thank you for allowing me to give a fuck again!


  2. Just in Time 5 Star Review

    Posted by on 9th Feb 2015

    I found this product just as I ran out of fucks. I was able to reload AND be better prepared for the next time I was completely out of fucks to give. Thank you!


  3. Fuckin Amazing 5 Star Review

    Posted by on 20th Jan 2015

    This product is by far the funniest thing I have ever ordered! I plan on ordering so many more fucks and just randomly give them out! You guys are so awesome and thank you creating this product


  4. An awesome and much needed product 5 Star Review

    Posted by on 21st Jun 2014

    After a rather long and hellish day a friend of mine pointed me in the direction of Fucks to Give. I knew immediately that I needed this product in my life! I thoroughly enjoy this fantastic product!


  5. Saved my sanity, and possibly my life. 5 Star Review

    Posted by on 31st Mar 2014

    My life was hell. I would wake in the morning full of good feelings and Fucks to give. As the day wore on I would give a Fuck about various things and before I knew it it, I would have given too many Fucks. I don't know if this has ever happened to you, but being in Fucks to give deficit really sucks. Suddenly you just don't have the energy to go on, so you crawl into bed and wait for the time you have more fucks to give. I had noticed my friend always seemed to be able to regulate the number of Fucks she gave so I asked her what her secret was. She told me "Vodka and these fabulous Fucks to Give cards" as she handed me a card. I stared at it in amazement and decided that instant I had to try it for myself. I went online and ordered my Fucks to give starter set. When it came in the mail, I put it to use immediately and haven't been without it since. My life is so much better now that I can visually see when I need to stop Giving a Fuck before I hit the Give a Fuck deficit. Thank you so much for this product.





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